The Bricklayers Song

(The Sick Note)

Dear Sir I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it I’m not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly gray
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today

While working on the fourteenth floor, some bricks I had to clear
But tossing them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn’t very pleased, he is an awkward sod
He said I had to cart them down the ladders in my hod

Now clearing all theses bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured a rope below
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me

And so when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
And clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket and to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down

The barrel broke my shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
I clung on tightly, numb with shock from this almighty blow
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some fourteen floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
I clung on tightly to the rope, my body wracked with pain
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again

The force of this collision halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock
But I clung on tightly to the rope as I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the pile of bricks the barrel scattered round

Well as I lay there on the floor, I thought I’d passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me I didn’t have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier it started down once more
It landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say
I hope you’ll understand why I am not at work today.